MRS. CLEAN GETS RID OF DIRT AND CRIME

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PRESS CONTACT: COASTKEEPER, BERLIN MD

ASSATEAGUE COASTKEEPER LAUNCHES AGGRESSIVE BAY CLEAN UP EFFORT

Ocean City, Maryland (EPI)- Coastkeeper Kathy Phillips, responding to criticism that she should, "stop suing people and just clean up the water," has announced an aggressive new campaign of water cleanup.


Noting the continued problems of agricultural, residential and industrial runoff, Phillips commented that, "It really is time someone rolled up their sleeves and cleaned up this filthy, filthy mess." Initially the cleanup will begin with the coastal bays surrounding Assateague Island, "They're the most accessible, I can wade right out and scrub away."

The cleanup campaign is not without its problems, however, with Phillips noting that, "This whole tide thing has me absolutely flummoxed. I no sooner scrub a section of the bay than it drifts off one way or the other and I can't really tell where I left off."

No matter, Phillips is known for her determination, adding, "If I can be accused of singlehandedly destroying the agriculture industry on the Eastern shore, this job should be a cakewalk."

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(Photos courtesy of Environmental Press International)